Quotables

My life is so uninteresting lately, and I need a laugh. Here's some funny quotes I found tonight that made me smile:

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together."

Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

He who laughs last didn't get it.

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

There are three sides of an argument -- your side, my side and the right side.

Whatever it is -- I didn't do it! (hehe)

Okay pi, here we go: 3.141592653589793238462643383