I struggle with this one a lot. Is it okay to be fake? What if I was real instead, in that moment; how would it be different? To best study this topic, I thought that listing out the times when I'm real and fake would be a good idea.
I'm fake when:
- I answer my phone at work, often. You know, the sing-songy voice that suggests I'm actually happy you called. I'm sooooooo busy and I really cannot be bothered, but it's my job so I have to talk to you. Yay.
- And, when I say "I'm good" when you ask how I'm doing. What if I said, "oh just fandabulous, my boss has me doing the job of two people! You heard me, two people! That's how I'm doing!"? I somehow don't think the response would be favourable...
- I say it's easy to stick with the same meal plan (for the most part) all the time. I mean, my head keeps saying "how the heck do you keep eating soup for lunch? And that breakfast... really?!" My mouth actually says it tastes good, so they often battle.
- I listen to people tell me what they did on the weekend. It's usually more interesting than mine, so why would I care what the fantastic things they did? If there was a cat involved, however, that's another story.
- I say I like what you're wearing. Actually, I wish I owned it, so it's not entirely fake, I'm just jealous and don't like that you have it and I don't.
- I'm bored. Simple as that. If I'm not interested but are stuck in the situation, fakeness overtakes me so that you don't think I'm some jerk that wishes they were somewhere else. I can't be the only one like this though...
- I say I'm "glad you're at the meeting" even though you gained weight, yet again. I'm success-oriented so am not going to continue with something if I don't get to my goal. I'd rather not be there than fail. It bothers me that others don't have the same viewpoint and continually ride the roller coaster of weight gains and losses.
I'm real when:
- I tell a friend I like her hair colour choice. It goes with her skin tone and overall suits her well. Why would I fake that? You just won't see me with the same "do", but only because I know it wouldn't look as nice.
- I say I'm pissed off, angry, frustrated, overworked, etc etc. I have a hard time NOT showing those feelings at work and home when they overpower all others.
- I'm asked to help you out with something that I'm good at or know the answer to. To feel needed and valued is so awesome, so I relish these moments and openly offer to be available any other time for you.
- I say you have a cute baby. This is true, because if you don't have a cute baby, I just won't say he/she is cute. Being fake is different than lying, and I wouldn't do that in regards to an innocent baby.
- I get angry on the phone with any particular company that isn't performing to my standards. Blame this one on my past experience working for an in-bound call centre. I just cannot -- CANNOT -- handle when something isn't going right and I know (again, from experience) that there IS something they can do to fix it. And I don't mean in a week, I mean NOW! Seriously. There's no way I can fake niceties with those instances anymore.
- Okay this is a funny one, but so real: I say if there's such a thing as a past life, that I was a cat. Not really sure how this works in with my blog today, but as I type away, my cat sits on my feet cleaning himself and all I can think is, "wow, I wish I was a cat". Solitary yet social when they want to be, their life sounds perfect. Yeah... I'll leave elaborations until a future blog...
I did a quick Google search for "are people real or fake" and came up with a number of sites that actually teach you how to be fake. Wow! Does that mean it's okay? I found an interesting comment in response to someone's question about acting fake in a work setting:
Sometimes faking it can be a skill. I think it's fine to be out of touch socially, or antisocial, as you call it. In fact, I think it's a fine thing, because you get a chance (or a curse, as it feels sometimes) to actually analyze social workings. From my experience, some of the most intelligent people *have* to fake it, because they can't live fully in the moment. Know it's a blessing, but understand that it feels like a curse. So yeah, try it on, see what you can do. It's a great skill to have when you are forced to get along with someone you don't particularly like ;)This actually speaks volumes to me, because I feel like I'm the person he or she is referring to. It's hard to be real all the time, when all you want to be is yourself but are afraid it won't be well-received.
I believe that most importantly, regardless of how we feel, we can't be rude or inconsiderate or just plain mean. If we have to "fake it 'til we make it", I guess that's just how it has to be.
What do you think?
This pi thing is getting nuts, so it's a good thing I like number sequences... today we're at 3.1415926.
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