In many areas I consider myself to be patient, but lately I'm having some trouble. There's nothing like a good Olde English poem to soothe my frustration...

Patience, Though I Have Not

BY SIR THOMAS WYATT

Patience, though I have not

   The thing that I require,

I must of force, God wot,

   Forbear my most desire;

For no ways can I find   

To sail against the wind.

Patience, do what they will

   To work me woe or spite,

I shall content me still

   To think both day and night,

To think and hold my peace,

Since there is no redress.

Patience, withouten blame,

   For I offended nought;

I know they know the same,

   Though they have changed their thought.

Was ever thought so moved

To hate that it hath loved?

Patience of all my harm,

   For fortune is my foe;

Patience must be the charm

   To heal me of my woe:

Patience without offence

Is a painful patience.   

Looking Forward to My TOPS Future

It's amazing how changing your own attitude can affect others' attitudes. This seems simple, but it can actually be quite difficult to do when you're just not "feeling it", if you know what I mean.

Tonight I felt especially motivating to my fellow TOPS members. Not only did I make the decision to not be grumpy, but I actually listened to their stories and issues and gave them support when necessary. Doing this more often is what I'm looking forward to once I'm out of the weight room entirely in a few weeks.

It also helps to receive kind words via notecards. My "friends" have been so nice in giving me encouragement and positive thoughts, and even thanking me for the work I've done in the last six months. Sure, it hasn't been a long time, but it's hard work and it clearly isn't where I need to be. I'm extremely happy that they recognize it and appreciate me for it.

Only a few more weeks to go, and it's really more tallying than anything that I'll be doing. I'm looking forward to the future, that's for sure.

Choosing Clothing Contentment

In the morning, as I ready myself for the day, I enjoy the very satisfied feeling of being prepared. Not unlike most other human beings with a job, my morning routine is just that, routine, and almost the only area of my life that I'd like to remain the same. When the unexpected is thrown my way during said routine, my entire day goes awry. It's like being tossed into a dryer, unable to open the door. Thanks to my preparedness, however, I am able to thwart danger in one major area: choosing my outfit for the day.

Most nights I decide on what I'll wear the next day. Call it being anal, or call it just being organized, whatever you decide, I'm happy doing it. Think about the time I save putting my outfit together ahead of time. I don't have a huge choice of clothing, but I think my selection has gotten pretty okay lately. There have been times in the past when I've put something on, just to decide that it really doesn't work, and nearly end up being late for the bus. I don't take the bus anymore, but I still want to be on time. Setting out my clothes for the next day just helps out my morning situation.

How many times have you stood in front of your closet, not "feeling" anything for any of your clothes. It's the moment when you decide you "have nothing to wear". I hate those moments, but I love being prepared. This is exactly why I choose to perform this little ritual. There's nothing better than already having made a big decision for the day the night before. Just think of how content I am each morning!

For tomorrow, I've chosen a simple black dress, blue blazer, blue tights, a grey belt, and will add in my tall, black boots in the morning. If anything changes at all between now and the morning, it will just be the blue tights. I'm totally okay with showing off colour on my legs in the form of opaque tights, but might change my mind. Might. Either way, if I don't change my mind, I'm saving myself the headache of choosing an outfit in the morning, when time is already of the essence.

Looking for a change in your morning routine? You should try it!

Wigs and Whatnot

Guess what's up for fun tonight at the Nairn household? Brushing and flat-ironing my Halloween costume wig, of course! :p

Seriously though, I'm a little worried. Wigs always come out of the packing all gross, but the hair needs to be straight to work with the outfit. (You'll see what I mean after we post pictures this weekend.) The "hair" isn't real though, so I'm concerned I'll melt it. Then I'm screwed. Unless I can find some spray in the same colour... no, no, that won't work. Ick.

What are you doing for fun tonight? I feel like I'm so busy lately I don't really get to hear what others are up to. Do you have plans for the upcoming weekend? If not, wanna come over and make some goodies for me to take with me to our parties? HAHA

I had this fun idea, but it would take too much time to do. It's Iceland Pönnukökurs but the mix is dyed green or some other ghoulish colour. Now wouldn't that be fun?! I thought so, but the whole time issue is really a clincher so, yeah, probably not gonna be that ambitious. I think that dying my cheese dip green will be hard enough work for this week. I'll just need to find some gummy fingers or snakes or something to lace it with to make it look gross. Yummy-gross, of course.

So, I'm gonna go try to straighten my wig now. That's quite the statement... wow. Wish me luck!

This is Today

This painting is what I felt like today. Just a mess of confusion and disappointment that it didn't exactly turn out as expected.

I suppose there's always tomorrow, but I like to make the best of the present if I can. Today just wasn't one for the books, that's all. Time to move on to Monday.

Shopping Success

Shopping days are generally fun, and today was no exception. The morning started off with attending a Women's Breakfast at the church with a friend. The speaker was really good and I enjoyed the fellowship. Then we proceeded to the mall for some good 'ol retail therapy.

After all was said and done, I came out of it with three new long-sleeved sweaters (ivory, maroon, and black) a blue turtleneck, a purple short-sleeved sweater, and a comfy pair of black "Clarks" pumps. The friend I was with also bought a few items. We really enjoyed our time and had plenty of laughs.

The afternoon ended with Paul and I taking a drive down to the area he's working in. He showed off "his houses" and told me a bit about them. Then we stopped at Walmart to pick up a few items, including some new hooded sweatshirts for him for work. Since the dinner hour had arrived (my stomach told me so!), we indulged in some deliciously-filling "Five Guys" burgers and fries. Yummmmmmm.

I totally enjoyed my day. Now I think we'll settle down to a movie on TV, probably Prometheus. As long as I don't fall asleep before it's over, I'll call this one a success.

Friday: Gangnam Style

It's Friday, it's Friday *insert happy dance here*!!! Have you heard? The weekend is ahead! I'm quite happy about that :)

A total deja vu from last week, today was another busy Friday. I can't believe I was actually bored this week until today, then all of a sudden, I'm working hard, straight until at least 4:00 pm. Hey, I'm not complaining about being busy because not only do I feel more satisfied after putting in a good, hard day's work, it makes the hours go by so much faster. It's just so ironic and weird that it happens at the end of the week lately.

Total change of subject here. Have you heard of "Gangnam Style"? I had heard of it, but apparently was totally out of the loop as I didn't know what it was until the other day. It's basically this Korean pop star named Psy (pron. sigh) that does what I call a "horsey dance" in his music video. I guess it's his trademark dance move. The song is quite catchy, but it's in Korean, obviously, except for the words "Gangnam Style". Apparently Gangnam is district of South Korea (thanks, Wikipedia). Psy must be from there. Go figure.

Well, if you haven't seen the video yet, here it is. I couldn't actually watch the entire thing, but you don't need to to get the idea. The point is, he's a slick looking Korean dude that horsey dances. Enough said.

Have a great weekend, Gangnam Style! HAHA

Gemini Giggles

Paul is getting so official as a contractor! It actually makes me giggle sometimes. I suppose that's a good thing because I haven't yet had to deal with his tax remittances yet and, in my experience, that is very un-giggle-worthy.

On my way home from work an idea for Paul's Christmas gift suddenly dawned on me. I saw a vanity license plate that just read "G", so it made me think of getting myself a "D". Then it made me think of what I would get for Paul and I had a total "aha" moment. I'm totally going to apply to get him the plate "GEMINI", for his new Gemini Contracting business.

As that option may not be available, I'll also request (in this order of importance):

1. GEMNI
2. GMINI
3. GMNI

I just hope that GEMINI is available though. 

Paul is also getting a jobsite radio. Apparently he'll be able to charge his batteries in it. Whatever, I'm sure it's quite interesting. He wants it, so he'll get it! That works for me.

So I'll keep giggling as long as I find Paul's new endeavours exciting. I'll ask for prayers when it's tax time! HAHA

***Note: Paul never reads my blog so I'm not concerned about him seeing this!

TOPS Family

TOPS is a great place to meet new people. It's also a great place to enjoy some time with your family, if they're also members. You'd be surprised how many people in my group are there with a member of their family. There's: Gunter, Sandi and Renee; Terry and Linda; Joyce and Pat; Kaitlyn and Rita; Dave and Rose; Corrie, Gloria and Colleen; Gloria and Michelle; Denise and Megan; Joyce and Paul; Monika and Stephanie; Leia and Fran; and Debbie and Wayne. And our chapter keeps growing, so who knows how many more there are.

Having a family member with you on your TOPS journey is great for motivation. You see them outside of TOPS, talk to them about weight loss and eating, and maybe even exercise together. You have each other's support at family gatherings. You have someone that understands your struggles and how you need TOPS. I can absolutely see why going to TOPS with your family is good idea.

I make friends pretty easily and feel that many of my fellow members are my friends. I would even go so far as to say they are like family. They aren't my family, however. Sometimes I feel very jealous of the other "daughters" in the group that go to meetings with their moms. They often go out for dinner with them before the meeting starts, and have bonding time. My mom simply lives too far away to do that but I do wish she could. Don't be sad, ma, I'm sure you wish we lived closer together too!

At least I have a few ladies I consider to be mother figures, especially Sandi and Gloria F, and even an "Aunty Colleen". They make me feel special and cared for and I really appreciate that. I'm very thankful for all the friendships I've made at TOPS, even with the old men. You GOTTA have some old man humour in the mix too :)

Even though my mom and I can't spend time together much anymore, I'm happy that many of my friends can and I treasure the moments we do have together.

Tasty Treats

Since we have our Halloween costumes picked out and purchased, now all I have to do is figure out what to make for a tasty party treat. I typically make a cheese dip of some sort, but I'm more open to other ideas this year. Specifically, creepy, Halloweeny ideas.

There's a lot out there on the world wide web. I found one website, www.delish.com, that has a lot of ideas. The Food Network also does. For example, check out these hot dog mummies:

Yummy mummies! I'm not sure how creative I will be, however, as most recipes I found involve baking. I'm much better at cooking so we'll see what I decide on. Check out these ghostly meringue treats:

Apparently making meringue is also easy so maybe I'll consider it... maybe. Either way, I'm looking forward to making up something fun and festive for the night.

If you have any ideas, please feel free to share by commenting on this blog!

Mark's

For the last nine years, I've purchased Paul's "work jeans" from Sears. They've carried, in the Nevada brand, the longer length for him (36 inch inseam!). That is until now, apparently. There's one particular style that shows they had it in stock, but I keep checking and they never seem to get any more. Paul has now worn out yet another pair, so it's come time to find somewhere else to shop.

Lucky for us, Mark's Work Wearhouse has a nice, new website and ships anywhere in Canada. Exciting! Not only that but, they clearly specialize in big and tall. It's been hard, when going in the store, to find the right sizes, but I think it's because the store doesn't necessarily carry everything that's available. Or, we just looked when they didn't carry the size we needed and they now do.

Regardless, I only looked at two styles, both under $50 a pair, and both were available in the length we need. We chose a style that's on sale, and bought three pairs. The total price, shipping included, was under $110. Pretty nice, right? I'm quite looking forward to getting them, and sure hope they fit my tall construction worker husband. If they work out, I may even buy a few more pairs for when he wears them out, because it is inevitable in his line of work.

So if you or someone you know is looking for speciality sizes, check out Mark's!

Bags in the Bins

Guess what's 95% done? Bagging the leaves in our yard! We went at it for a few hours this afternoon and got most of it done. There's only one medium-sized pile left now. That means even the front yard is done! I'm so happy about it. So happy.

The bad part about the leaves is having to get rid of them once they're bagged. We now have a roll-out garbage bin and it only holds 3-4 bags, along with our regular waste. Since they only come once a week, and we've got about 30 bags total, it will take about 10 weeks. Yikes. Paul said he'll throw some in the truck when going to work to dump them in the bin in the area he's working. I hate to use someone else's bin, that they're paying for, but I also don't want to have to pay to take them to the dump. Catch 22, eh.

For a while there I contemplated paying the neighbour kid $20 to come over, but the positive part of the work I did was that it burned a lot of calories. Just today I estimated about 500. That one night when I raked for an hour straight, really hard with lots of gusto, it was probably about the same. I hardly sweat that night though because the wind was so cold.

It's just a good thing we've taken care of our yard another year before it snows. I'll always remember our first spring here when the snow melted and we discovered that not only was our yard low, but the previous owners had not raked it. That was quite the sight. I'll never, ever let that happen again if I can help it!

So, yet another leaf season is over! Amen!

Halloween Costume Time

If you haven't noticed (or don't care), Halloween is just around the corner. We had a particular pair of costumes in mind from a website, but they aren't in stock yet. As they ship from the U.S., we simply couldn't wait any longer to start looking.

Regina has a few more Halloween stores this year than I remember them having in the past. It sure makes it easier to find things, or so you'd think. Apparently they carry mostly female costumes. Honestly, there was probably 75% female ones in the store we went to. Sure, that makes it easy for me, but I want to do a pair with Paul. He's very picky. Ugh.

He ended up picking a particular costume that I wasn't entirely thrilled about. The female counterpart isn't sexy at all. Not even a little bit. I figure Halloween is a great time to dress in ways you wouldn't normally. That's the whole point! The ones we picked will still look good, I'm sure, I'm just not entirely sold yet. I had to get Paul to look at me in the changeroom because there was no mirror to check myself out. I just hope what he said is true! HAHA

Since we have two parties to attend this year, they'll definitely get used. I just hope we don't get them dirty and have to worry about cleaning them the next day in between the two events...

Boredom & Busyness

You know what's really irksome? Not having a lot of work to do all week and then suddenly having enough to keep me going right until the last minute of the day. I wasn't just working, I was busy! The kind of busy where you end up over-multitasking and forget what you started doing. It's soooo annoying! I guess that's just how the cookie crumbles in the world of HR.

I really do prefer to be busy though. Not only does the day go by quicker, but I tend to feel much more satisfied with my work. For some boredom may breed creativity, but for me it simply makes me feel inadequate, like I'm missing something.

Speaking of being busy, Paul will be working on Saturday to finish off a basement job. It's piece work, as himself (not Gemini). He and J plan to finish it off entirely. Having him out of the house means he won't be bored and I will get to clean without him around. It helps that he's making money doing it.

You know who doesn't get bored? My cats. If they start becoming bored, they just sleep. I wish I could do that...

A Capacious Chapter

This always happens: I forget or don't have time to blog some nights, then get backed up by two or even three days. Today is actually Saturday the 13th, but you think it's the 11th. I'm such a trickster :p

"Tonight", our TOPS executive committee (minus a few) plus a few other long-term members got together for coffee and a chat about our chapter. I can't go into details about what we spoke about, but I can say that I will be making a change in the very near future. Not in that I'll be leaving the chapter for another, just making a change within. I huge weight was lifted off my shoulders with the decision I made, and I'm happy that everything will work out even though I did so.

Our chapter is very big right now; nearly 60 members. Around 45 are regularly weighing in, just depending on the week. We almost don't fit in a big circle anymore in the room that we gather. Almost. The goal is to gain more members all the time, but there has been a real spurt since I took over the weight recorder position in April. An overwhelming spurt, to be honest.

Regardless of what changes occur within our chapter in the coming months, I'm still very happy to be a TOPS Club member and I look forward to getting to know my "pals" even better than before.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

This girl just isn't herself lately. In fact, I find myself being a crusty *LANGUAGE WARNING* bitch. Sorry. And no one wants to hear about all the crappy things I'm dealing with lately. I mean, they're not even that crappy, I'm just stressed out and frustrated and tired and... done.

I can't even be honest about the particular issues I'm facing, as some of them are work-related. I also hate being that person that's asked how I'm doing then goes off saying, "oh my life just suck lately...".  I did that last night and I really regretted it afterwards. Sure, I'd like to be honest about how I feel when asked, but sometimes it's more appropriate to lie about it. *sigh* I let my feelings out on Paul as he most understands what's going on. At least I feel a little better now.

I will say that there are a few wonderful things about my life lately, so let's focus on those:

1. My application to be a Subject Matter Expert with the Canadian Payroll Association (CPA) was accepted. I don't know what I'll need to help with, but I'm looking forward to the experience gained.
2. My application to be a volunteer with the CPA's Regina branch was accepted. My first function is next Wednesday at a luncheon. I'm quite excited about it.
3. Albeit more than thirteen years ago that I picked up a bass guitar, I'm already learning my new "gift" quite quickly. On Tuesday night I was already able to play a song using the chord sheets and sing along (Hosanna - Praise is Rising, if you know it).
4. Paul's new job will pay off, I know it, so I'm very happy for the new income source for our family and gained experience for him. If he's happy, I'm happy!
5. I still really like my job, regardless of the political/social aspects I dislike currently, so I feel very satisfied in what I do, daily.
6. My last blood pressure check was pretty darn good, if I say so myself. I'll need to check it at the grocery store in the next few weeks. Maybe we'll be able to lower my medications more!

So, all in all, even with the bad my life's not terrible. I have to remember that. The frustrations can easily overshadow the good parts, so doing things that make me happy really helps. In time, all will pass.

A Soaring Success?

Today was my spouse's first official work day as a subcontractor. He left the house around 7:00 am and worked nearly ten hours. Good for him... not so good for me, the poor housewife waiting for him to come home :( I'm sure that after a little while, either I'll get used to him coming home later than usual, or he'll leave the jobsite earlier and get home around the same time as me. I'd prefer the latter, obviously.

I sent him a little "lunchtime love note", aka text to say hi (and xoxo, of course), and the reply was a little worrying. This is paraphrasing but, he essentially messaged back that his day was "good, but back is  sore (actually, he wrote soar, but I'll forgive him for the spelling), and painkillers were nice". Uh huh. I promptly replied that he better be careful because he can't get himself hurt now that he's working for himself! Way to worry a girl. Apparently he hurt it when he was breathing. Right. Apparently he was just walking, not holding anything, breathed in and... the rest is history. Apparently. Right. Regardless, he still worries me.

I reminded him that money isn't everything, but work hard, become successful,  and the money will just be a reward. In other words, don't forget the people that love you and want you to come home to eat dinner with them! At least he's finally making more per hour than I am! Finally! And he seems very happy to be doing what he's doing.

Change can be exciting, but consistency is important. I'm looking forward to what's to come.

An Oops on the 8th

Either nothing of interest or too much of interest happened on October 8th because I completely forgot to write something. I also didn't notice that I didn't write a blog for this date when tallying up my final year's total. Since it's a leap year, there would be 366 entries, however I had two on one day when I opened it up for a "Reader's Choice". When I saw that there were only 366 without December 31st's, something was clearly wrong!

So, I'm sorry October 8th that you didn't interest me enough to write something. Crocodile Dundee, I'm also sorry I missed your birthday.

Full, But Happy

*BURP* I literally ate as much in one day as I do in three normally. At least Thanksgiving comes but once per year, as well as the eating binge I find myself being part of.

But it was a nice weekend, albeit quick. The weather cooperated for highway driving on Saturday, with the wind at our back. Casey was happy to get to the "S'paw", and we were happy to leave her there for a night. The grandparents' home may not be as spacious as it used to be, but it just makes the family gatherings more cozy. We had good food, good company, and good music, of course.

We also had a nice visit with mom and dad. I especially liked the part where dad surprised me with a brand new bass guitar kit. I had only expected to borrow his for a bit, but I'm a Bateman too so somehow wasn't entirely surprised... oddly... but very thankful! (Thank you again!)

We managed to stop only once on the way back home, just to pick up Casey, and made it to Regina in excellent time. I ended staying up as late as Paul watching PVRd tv shows. It was quite a good day.

I'll be happy to get back to a routine for eating, but I could definitely use a few more days off. The weather did NOT cooperate today -- in fact, we had sleet and the wind picked up quite a lot -- so our lovely leave piles are as-is for now. We'll need to wait a few days for some dryer, calmer weather to come around.

So, back to the grind, I guess. At least it's a short week and Paul's starting his new career tomorrow. Exciting!

Nose Art

The highlight of my day, other than seeing my beautiful family and sharing food and stories and love:

each time Casey made "nose art" on daddy's new truck window. It's quite filthy now, and I think that's funny. She's just too cute to mind.